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 Running Mind?

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PostSubject: Running Mind?   Sun May 31, 2015 11:26 pm

Written June 26, 2010


Feel like writing so going to let my fingers go on the keyboard.

Don't mistake me for someone I am not, I am here, I am me, I am honest, I am deceitful. I am not here to charm you, but I shall. I'm not here to please you, I am here to please me. I do what I like in my life, no one will change that. My thoughts, my views, my words, they are my own. Whether another spoke them, done them, or thought them before me, they are still mine. I may agree with you, you may disagree with me, none of it matters, I'm still here. I will continue to think as I wish, and over think everything. I will say things the way I see them, you may be able to change that with your words, you may not. Either way I'm still here thinking, seeing, doing.

I just want to get to know you. The real you. Not this mask or charade you put up for everyone. You. I want to see your soul, to view your mind through your eyes. I want to hear the words you speak, let them consume me for a moment and last in my mind for eternity. Let me in. Let me see the real you, not this front that you have let consume you around others. I can see more to you, I know there is more than just a face and a simple smile. I see the pain in your eyes when you are hurt. I feel the tremble of your skin when you are scared unsure what to do. I know that there is more to you, I know there is a real being under all those walls. Let me break in, let me see the real you, let me know you. I'll try, I'll fight, but you have to allow it.

Love. Such a harsh word. Oh how the damage it does to ones soul. They say its heartbreak, but it goes further to your core. Love. Heh. It hurts. The pain can become so much at times that you can't remember what joy felt like. Feeling numb seems better. Is it? Can you let yourself go numb to all emotions just to avoid the pain? No. No matter how you try you'll never succeed. No matter how you say you won, you've lost.

I know the pain. I know the walls. I know me. Walls hold others out, keep them from getting in, from being hurt more. But those walls keep the pain already there in. You hold onto the pain of the past and push the future out just to avoid more pain out. Why? Sure maybe you won't be hurt again, but you won't feel the real love. We all build walls to protect ourselves, our cores, our soul. It works from time to time, but it leaves so much void full of pain.

Break my walls if you really care. Prove to me you want to know me. Hurt me or love me, show you are worth something. I'll do the same for you.
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