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Join date : 2015-05-14

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PostSubject: Unsure    Unsure     Icon_minitimeSun May 31, 2015 11:45 pm

Written March 12, 2011

I laid in bed last night, this the only thing running through my mind as I tried to drift off to sleep. What do I really matter to you? I know we're complicated and I know the reasons for it, I'm not trying to rush anything. But don't I deserve a little time WITH you? You tell me that you set times aside for me and then something ALWAYS comes up, whether you can help it or not, but it always happens on your end. Now that I'm working our time is even more limited then it was, so I attempt even more to try and spend time with you. But why should I when you don't seem to? You say you love me and I don't doubt that you do, but is very rare that you ever show it. The last thing you did show of your love for me, you removed due to "complications". I understand those I do, but is it really fair to me that you let others affect us? I stopped doing that long ago, I decided who I want to be with and why and what I do, no one else. So why do you? I keep hinting at the issues and I've even forwardly said them to you, all you tell me is you're sorry, but you make no attempt to fix it. Only reason I'm saying it here is hope that you do realize how far it has gone. If you tell me we're going to spend time together, then do it, don't get my hopes up and let them crash down. I have dealt with a lot when it comes to us, I've put up with a lot of things and stood by your side a long time, no matter what happened. You keep breaking at my core bit by bit though, tearing pieces of me away, I'm not going to be able to stand at that rate. A relationship, no matter how complicated it is, is supposed to be a team work. It is the adaption of two people, adapting to the other to form a stronger hold and bond and work through anything that is thrown at them. It is not about one person losing their identity to form to the others. I did that last time, I won't do it again. So here is what I have to say, I've reached my limit and my line. I've gone as far into adapting to your being as I can, I think its time you do the same. If I really do matter to you, then show it. Don't tell me we will have time on a certain day for you to go out with friends instead or that you're busy right now and we will have time later for you to just forget and vanish for hours. If I am to be part of your life, I need attention from you to stay that way. And no, I'm not asking you to change, I'm just asking you to adapt into my needs as I do yours.
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