The Future

Laying in bed watching the movie Unstoppable when a scene comes on that makes not help but think of the future.

I love you and can't wait for our life together to fully start. Everyday you make me fall a little more in love with you, I didn't think that was possible. I look at you and can't help of thinking about spending the rest of my life with you. I long for the days of being back in your arms and sleeping close to you. All we have for now are phone calls and video calls, but they work. I love that your voice is the last thing I hear before I fall asleep and sometimes the first when I wake. You make me smile, actually smile, not the fake smile I usually wear. You make me happier than I knew was possible. For all this and so much more, I love you.

You said to me the other day that you were in love with me and this made my heart flutter. One of your reasoning's was because I stood around through everything that happened. My reasoning for that is because you are my heart and who I truly love. I tried moving on and letting go, and at points I did let go a little with the help of others in my life. I could never fully let go and I'm not sure if this is because I just couldn't or because I didn't want to. There were so many times I tried to talk myself out of loving you and moving on, yet my heart always was yours. No matter what I did, I just wouldn't let go, part of me still hoped that we would one day have a real chance at love. Now we do.

As it stands some people know what is going on and others don't, and for the most none really understand. We are complicated yet understand completely what we are and where we stand. We have things to work out, with each other and alone, but we love one another. After everything I went through, I was constantly told to stop being an idiot and let go, that I deserve better. Hell he even told me that at one point, I just couldn't though. You can't help who you love, you don't choose it, your soul does. My soul picked him. He has my heart and never dying love. He is who I want to be with and love for the rest of my life.

I don't know where the future will take me and him, all I can hope is that we stay together. We talk about our future together now and then, but we're not rushing into anything, we both want to take it slow. I do know that whether I'm with him or not, that I'll always be there for him and hope that he is always in my life. This is where I'm leading to with this, for anyone who can't get that, you don't have to. Just understand that I don't want to hear I can do better. I don't want to hear things you've heard. If you're going to bring anything to me, have the full story and proof to back it up with. That goes the same for anyone who tries to throw things at him about me. If you have an issue with us being together, suck it up. Now this isn't aimed at anyone at all, I'm just speaking with how I feel and what I'm thinking.

Back to the scene from the movie, the one guy is talking about how he would come hope to his wife every night and tell her every aspect of how his day went. I want that. I want that with the man I love. I love hearing what he has to tell me, even if I don't have a lot to say back. I love thinking of a future with him and even when we talk about it, though I try to avoid it so I don't get my hopes up or us rush into anything. I just want to be with him, everyday, no matter what we do, if it is out being busy with people, or just laying around. He is the future I have my eyes set on.